Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
