ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
