Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
