My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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