I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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