I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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