Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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