I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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