So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
