i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
