found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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