He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
