I just made out with a guy for $7.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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