Soap is not a condiment
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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