I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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