My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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