Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
