so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
