At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
