My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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