We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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