Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
