Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
