he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
