At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize