Pappa wants mamma naked
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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