suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
BRING THE BAGELS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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