Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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