Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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