Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
