I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
