It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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