why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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