You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
