ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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