He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
