Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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