It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
