i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize