Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
