the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
