Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
