Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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