my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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