Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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