Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
