Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
