he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
