They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
