I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
