WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize