It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
