IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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