Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize