Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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