the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
