The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
