i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
