I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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