I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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