I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
