when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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