I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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