Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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