I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
