I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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